Her heart raced like a nascar on it's last round . She felt the blood boiling beneath her skin like a pot of water right before the hot dogs are done. Her skin became hotter than a summer day in Texas. She thought about crying but there were too many emotions running through her body to be vulnerable. She knew she couldn't show any sign of weakness or he would soon use that to his advantage. She had to stay strong. Her mind searched for questions, answers, or just anything to say. But as she hung up from the last girl telling her unwanted information about the guy she loves all she could do was scream.
She raced up the two flights of steps with rage on her mind, the feeling of deceit , betrayal, foolishness, and disappointment in her heart. She felt betrayed because he told her he would never do this to her , she was deceived by love , she felt disappointed because she thought he was better then that, but most of all she felt foolish. Foolish enough to believe anyone could want only her , anyone could Love only her. foolish enough to believe that he would never do anything like that to her. Most of all Foolish because she knew the whole time, there was never any physical proof , but she always had that hunch that only a women would understand.
She always wondered what she would do if she was ever in a situation like this; today was the day she was going to find out.
" HOW COULD YOU ", she screamed as she threw the phone at him hard enough to know she was mad , but gentle enough to not really do any physical damage.
" YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME, YOU LIED , I HATE YOU , I HATE YOU , I HATE YOU ", She continued to scream.
Although she didn't mean those words, she let her anger take over her and that's all she could say at the time. She has never been so upset in her life. She's known for smiling and laughing, she didn't even know that a person could have so much anger inside them. Where did this rage come from , she wondered. How could she let herself become this mad ? How could she let someone else take her this much out of her character ?
It didn't matter because at this point she was done, she didn't know where her anger would take her, she didn't know how this situation would turn out but she didn't care. She was hurt , fed up and tired of the lies. She does everything for this man. She cooks, She cleans, She works, supports him financially , rubs him down , show him how much everything he does for her is appreciated, pleases him how no other women could or so she thought. Most of all she was LOYAL. She's never been disloyal to him. She couldn't understand why he would be so disloyal to her.
" Calm down baby , I'm sorry. It wasn't noting like that. I Love you and only you. I only want you. Them Bxtches don't mean shxt to me. They can never be you. " He replied with his eyes full of tears , and heart full of shame.
" THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT, YOU TOLD ME YOU NEVER HAD SEX WITH NO OTHER GIRLS, AND IT'S BEEN OVER FIVE, YOU HAD A WHOLE DIFFERENT PHONE FOR TWO YEARS AND I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. HOW COULD YOU BE SO DECEITFUL ? AM I THAT BAD OF A GIRLFRIEND ? DID YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AT ALL ? HOW COULD YOU , HOW COULD YOU ?
She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The tears just fell like a rainy day in Columbus, Ohio. She was mad that she let him see how much she cared. she hated this feeling. Her brother always told her never let a man see your weakness , and now she understood why. Her chest was so tight it felt like she couldn't even breathe. What was there to do now ? Was It all over ? She has to let him go now right ? Or was it her fault ? Did she drive him to do this because she gets upset sometimes ? Did she care too much ? Shouldn't a Women be treated better than this ? If a Man really loves a Women he wouldn't treat her this way right ? But all men make mistakes right ? Should she start over with a new guy , and find a new love ? But won't she just have to go through the same lies , and betrayal all over again ? So What's the point ? Aren't you supposed to fight for what you Love ? How do you know when to stop fighting ? So many questions ran through her brain, that it felt as if she was going to explode.
He didn't show the affection that she felt she deserved. to be honest he acted as if he didn't care at all. she was so mad that she just hit him over and over again, she only stopped long enough to rest her arms, then she began again. he grabbed her arms and held her close. The scent of cocoa butter , Irish Spring moisture blast body wash , and his powdered deodorant filled her nose. Just like that she melted in his arms. he began to weep telling her exactly what she wanted to hear. In her heart she knew it was all lies. she knew she shouldn't believe him. She knew that he would do it all over again if she gave in this easy.
But something just wouldn't let her let go , and she gave in just like that .
TO BE CONTINUED...........................................